The Masturbation Song
It's Saturday night and I'm alone, I've made no future plans,
So I sit me down and I pull out the little old Man,
I ain't got a girlfriend and I don't have a date,
But that's alright with me coz I love to masturbate
Back in the old days I'd buy some magazines, a six pack of beer and a tub of Vaseline,
Penthouse and Hustler were as good as it could get,
But I hit the jackpot when I found the Internet.
I'm beating my meat, pounding the pud, yeah I'm jacking off!
I got a good grip on my joystick, and it ain't Microsoft,
I'm flogging my dog, spanking the monkey, ain't computers great!
Yeah I'll never leave home coz I love to masturbate!
They got naked men and women, and all kinds of sex galore,
Blondes, brunettes and redheads and Philippine whores,
No matter what you're into, you'll find your own dot COM,
There's even one for old chicks where
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